Time to get some thoughts out.
Some of you know I recently got a job at a music video marketing company and can finally pay for my gas bill. That's all I really cared about. I'm not in the city anymore. Having gas in the car is almost equivalent to my ability to walk here in New Jersey.
In the past month, I've watched a lot of music videos. More than I ever have in my entire life. Literally. And every so often, a Christian video will appear much to my pleasure. But 95% of the videos I process are hip-hop videos filled with cursing, drugs, sex, and money. Even worse, the music sucks as well.
I just can't stand the hypocrisy in some of these videos. Oh wait, I thought only Christians were supposed to be hypocritical, right? Wrong. So many of these videos have rappers claiming how much money they have, or how they're the hottest thing right now with all their fame and stuff. Then I watch their video and it's shot on a home camcorder. One guy couldn't even afford a real gun. He waved around a plastic water gun in his music video to show how tough he was. Ooh, scary.
Honestly, it really disgusts me. I practically loathe some of these rappers and their pitiful lives. I told one of my co-workers, "I used to like rap until I took this job." Watching all these pathetic rappers makes me really appreciate real hip-hop.
But today, God convicted my heart of the sin I was committing: judging others.
"C'mon God...it's valid judgement! These guys don't give a crap about you. All they care about is money, sex, and plastic water guns!"
Doesn't matter. They're sinners just like me. Comparing my righteousness to them may seem like a big contrast until we compare it to God's perfect holiness. It's like comparing any number to infinity. It doesn't matter how high or low the number is. We're all in the same boat.
What truly moved my heart was the song, "Jesus, Friend of Sinners." Some of the CEMC kids did an awesome body worship to it last year. I used to think the song was okay. Now it's one of the best songs evahhh.
"You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast. For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came."
"LORD I WAS THAT LOST CAUSE AND I WAS THE OUTCAST. BUT YOU DIED FOR SINNERS JUST LIKE ME, A GRATEFUL LEPER AT YOUR FEET."
I would have broken down into tears if there weren't other people around me. Here am I, deeming these rappers unworthy of the kingdom of heaven when I am just as broken and just as unworthy for the gift of eternal life. What made me think I was better than any of them? My pride? My ego? Isn't that the same thing I was accusing them of?
God, help me to remember who I am. I'm not some super-Christian who thinks I've earned Your love. I could never earn Your love. But You love me anyway. I'm Your adopted son, saved only by the blood of the Lamb. Help me to see others through Your eyes. The same unconditional love You've given me is the same love You desire to spread to others. Help me to be a catalyst for Your love. Help me to walk in accordance with Your will. I am Yours, God. My life is dedicated to Your glory. Thank you for these little reminders. I love You, God.